"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ok first of all what the fuck
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
