nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize