I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
