3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
