PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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