Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
