did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize