I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
