did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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