Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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