That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize