There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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