Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
