Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
