I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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