First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the day after is always just damage control
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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