So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
