i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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