Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
