Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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