she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
