alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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