Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
