Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
