I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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