I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
