K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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