Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
