Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize