Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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