My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Found your dick twin last night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
