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She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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