Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
