Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They took my balls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
