let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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