Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
