just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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