Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize