I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
