Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
