i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
