Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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