The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
