nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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