Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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