ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
