I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
