What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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