just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
