Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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