Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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