I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
