Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
