Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize