Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
