I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
