Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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