You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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