awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
