How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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