My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
