i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
