goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
