I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
