i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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