Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Panties = found
Randomize
