Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
