Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How does one acquire holy water?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
