I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
