Is it because I queefed?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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