To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
