Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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