What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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