when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
