so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
