i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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