I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
