I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize