Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
