Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize