3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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