your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize